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Other  Cartoons 


THE 

Mysterious  Strang 

AND 


OTHER  CARTOONS 


THE 

Mysterious  Stranger 

AND 

OTHER  CARTOONS 

BY 

JOHN  T.  McCUTCHEON 

Author  of 

Cartoons,  Bird  Center  Cartoons,  Etc. 


New  York 

McClure,  Phillips  & Co. 
1905 


Copyright,  1905,  by 
McCLURE,  PHILLIPS  & CO. 
Published,  October,  1905 


The  Cartoons  in  this  collection  were  originally  published  in  “ The  Chicago  Tribune  ” and  the 
“ Chicago  Record-Herald  " and  are  reprinted  in  this  form  by  permission  of  the  publishers. 


INTRODUCTORY  NOTE 


r # lIIESE  cartoons  have  been  reprinted  in  the  hope  that  they  may  have 
cl  permanent  interest  because  of  the  great  historical  importance  of  the 
period  they  encompass.  In  the  last  two  or  three  years  the  world  has 
moved  with  more  than  its  usual  alacrity.  It  has  been  a history -making 
epoch.  There  has  been  a war  that  WAS  a war.  There  have  been  disasters 
almost  without  parallel;  and  we  have  weathered  as  pleasant  a presidential 
campaign  as  the  oldest  inhabitant  can  remember.  Mr.  Roosevelt  has  been 
insured  to  us  for  another  four  years  and  his  activities  in  peace  and  in  war 
and  in  sports  have  been  a source  of  unending  inspiration  to  the  cartoonist.  In 
addition,  the  nation  has  achieved  merited  glory  because  of  the  great  exposition 
held  in  St.  Louis,  and  last,  but  not  least,  Missouri  has  taken  it  into  her 
head  to  go  Republican. 

The  importance  of  these  affairs  is  our  excuse  for  hoping  that  the  car- 
toons appearing  in  this  collection  may  have  more  than  an  ephemeral  interest, 
and  with  respectful  humility,  we  hereby  dedicate  them  to  that  grand  old  man — 
sometimes  so  foolish  but  always  so  well-meaning — our  Uncle  Sam. 

John  T.  McCutcheon 

October  18,  1905 


THE 

Mysterious  Strang 

AND 

OTHER  CARTOONS 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


He  Arrives  in  " San  Antone  ” to  Attend  a Reunion  of  the  Rough  Riders. 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


h 

>.  - 


-'V  - 


A Qdiet  Day 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


“ Hurry  up,  boys  l I ’ve  got  ’em  treed.” 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


“J  wish  the  boys  ’d  get  up.  Here  I 've  had  breakfast  ready  an  hour.” 


. ii 


TIIE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


“ The  President  has  been  on  the  trail  of  a grizzly  for  four  days." 

— News  Item. 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


“ Come  on,  boys  ! I 've  got  'em  cornered." 


A BOY  IN  SPRINGTIME 


“ Every  time  I think  of  her,  I have  the  queerest  feeling,  kind  o'  like  a painless  stomach  ache,  only  not  so  much.  I wonder  why  ? 


A BOY  IN  SPRINGTIME 


“No,  honest,  cross  my  heart,  you  ’re  the  first  girl  I ever  said  it  to." 


A BOY  IN  SPRINGTIME 


“ For  the  land's  sake,  child,  what  ails  you,  anyway.  How  many  times  must  I call  you  to  come  to  your  supper  ?” 


A BOY  IN  SPRINGTIME 


“ Some  day  she  'll  be  sorry  she  treated  me  this  away.  1 'll  go  ‘ way  and  make  lots  o’  money  and  come  back  here  riding  in 
a carriage  with  four  white  horses,  and  when  she  tries  to  ketch  my  eye  I ’ll  pertend  l never  seen  her  before.  ” 


COLONEL  ROOSEVELT  IN  YOSEMIT 


E VALLEY 


That  ought  to  he  'El  Colonel'  instead  of  'El  Capitan 


Ought  n't  it  ? 


MR.  ROOSEVELT  IN  TIIE  GRAND  CANYON 


Magnificent ! It  looks  like  the  tented  field  of  a T dan  Host ! It 's  the  most  beautiful  view  I 've  ever  seen  — Not  an  office  seeker 

in  sight  l ” 


> 


THE  PRESIDENT:  “I’M  HAVING  A DELIGHTFUL  TIME  HERE  IN  CHICAGO 

BUT  I MISS  MY  DAILY  EXERCISE  ” 


UCHIUCO  UNitf" 
where  PRESIDENT 
REC£«fp  DFO-ReE 
vt  LI D AND 
MADE  SPEECH 
AT  Ey  5«  pM 


rr^0,i 

cehtrm- 


WHERE  PRfy 
S t3  p m and 

fo*-°PM 


ANNr» 
where  pres- 

°fNT  had 

LI/neheon 

W'Th  prom, 


*e*'DEnt 

y^ 

I)f‘-'veRED 


SECRETARY  TAFT  IN  JAPAN 


m.% 


ij^»cr*r»ctrcTr» 


ytPHftflnt* 


,fI!' 


/iWcufoti 


1 wonder  if  it  can  tell  me  who  wiU  be  the  next  President  of  the  U.  S.  A ? 


“/  remind  myself  of  apoleon  before  the  Sphinx. 


SECRETARY  TAFT  IN  JAPAN 


-Vo  wonder  the  Japs  make  good  soldiers.  They  've  certainly  solved  the  transportation  problem,  all  right." 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


Just  look  hcrw  much  I saved  for  the  Fourth.  A/ a give  me  a dime  n I sold  a copper  boiler  to  Johnson  Bros,  for  twelve 
cents.  I got  sixteen  cents  for  picking  cherries  for  Mrs.  Oliver,  'n  a nickel  for  carrying  a note  for  Mr.  Hornbeck,  'n  fi’  cents 
I got  for  picking  potato  bugs  for  Mrs.  Oliver,  'n  ten  cents  for  finding  Mr.  Griswold's  cow.  And  I 'm  gunna  spend  it  all 
for  shootin  crackers  and  fire  'em  all  off  just  for  you.  ” 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


“/  bet  they  ’re  jealous  because  they  ain't  boys,  too. 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


Gee ! I wisht  tlx  circus  d hurry  up  and  come.  I 'm  terrible  hungry.  We've  been  waiting  nearly  three  hours  and  it  'll  be  sure 

to  come  if  we  go  home  for  breakfast. " 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


Gee ! I don  t see  how  anybody  can  be  sad  in  summer-time,  'specially  if  he  's  a boy  an’  likes  to  go  swimmin’  l ” 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


} ou  just  step  over  that  line  and  l II  learn  you  that  you  can't  call  my  little  sister  a cry-baby. 


luumum  


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


The  Chief  of  the  Indian  Fighters  — “ Don't  cry,  they  're  not  real  Indians  — they  're  only  cornstalks.  We  're  just  per 
tending  they  're  Indians.  Come  on,  you  'll  never  make  an  Indian  fighter  if  you  act  this  away." 


A 13QY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


\ oubel  this  is  the  last  time  I 'm  gunria  visit  Aunt  Mary,  not  even  if  she  invites  me." 


' 


A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


"Dog  gone  it  l This  kind  o'  life  ain’t  the  kind  o’  life  for  me.  / 'm  gunna  run  away  nd  be  a soldier,  nd  get  killed,  nd  tin 

you  bet  ma  ’ll  be  sorry  she  treated  me  this  away. 


; 

A BOY  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


It  s funny  how  much  easier  it  is  to  work  the  ice-cream,  freezer  than  it  is  to  churn." 


THE  PRESIDENT  HAS  GIVEN  A $100  CHECK  TO  A CHILD  THAT  WAS 

NAMED  AFTER  HIM 


“ Here  is  a check  for  little  Theodore.” 


“You’re  wanted  below,  sir.” 

“This  is  no  time  to  rout  a man  out.  Tell  him  to  wait.” 
“It  isn’t  a ‘him,’  sir;  it’s  a ‘them.’” 


“ Good  morning,  Mr.  President.” 


I 

_ I i \ 


UNCLE  ALEXANDER  THOUGHT  HE  HAD  AN  INVITATION  TO 

THE  WHITE  HOUSE 


“ I see  by  the  newspaper  that  President  Roosevelt  likes  to  see  large  families.  Now,  I take  it,  that 's  an  invitation  to  visit  him, 

don't  you  ? ” 


So  Uncle  Alexander  and  IIis  Family,  Cousin  Silas  and  His  Family  and  the  Hired  Man  and  His  Family  went 

DOWN  TO  THE  DEPOT  AND  GOT  ON  THE  CARS  FOR  WASHINGTON  


Where  the  President  Said  That  He  Was  “Delighted  to  See  Them. 


THE  OSLEROPATHS 

GEN.  KUROKI,  AGED  OVER  60  DR.  OSLER  CHLOROFORM  BRIGADE 


THE  DEAR  OLD  FARM  AND  THE  JOLLY  CITY  LIFE 


WHAT  THE  FARMER  SAYS: 


WHAT  THE  CITY  MAN  SAYS: 


“Scraped  the  frost  off  the 
window  so ’s  I could  get  a 
squint  at  the  weather.  Looked 
purty  winterish .” 


“Staid  in  bed  till  nearly  5 
this  morning  because  we  don’t 
have  to  get  up  so  early  in  the 
winter  time.” 


“ Well,  1 hate  to  get  up,  but  1 
suppose  I must.  Not  an  ounce 
of  steam  in  the  place.  And  just 
listen  to  the  crunch  of  those 
wheels  out  there.  I ’ll  bet  it ’s  a 
hundred  below  zero." 


“ Great  guns!  are  all  the  win- 
dows open  ? It  's  as  cold  as 
Greenland  in  this  flat.  The 
man  that  called  this  a steam- 
heated  flat  was  a poor  describer.” 


“ Woodpile  covered  with  snow 
so  I had  difficulty  getting  kitchen 
fire  started.  Finally  got  enough 
hot  water  to  thaw  out  pump.” 


“ Then  had  nothing  to  do  but 
wait  for  daylight  and  breakfast. 
Had  hot  fried  mush,  hot  ham, 
some  good  coffee,  and  a couple 
dozen  buckwheat  cakes.  Seemed 
to  agree  with  me.  ” 


“Boots  froze  stiff.  Guess  I 
forgot  to  grease  ’em  last  night. 
They  slipped  on  about  as  easy 
as  a section  of  stovepipe.  ” 


“Carried  in  some  fodder  for 
the  stock.  Latch  on  barn  door 
so  dad  gasted  cold  it  pulled  the 
skin  off  my  nigh  hand.  Cur- 
ried horses,  etc.” 


“ Have  a horrible  cold. 
That  ’s  the  trouble  with  these 
steam-healed  flats.  About  the 
time  you  get  acclimated  the  fur- 
nace goes  on  a strike.  ” 


“ Cable  broke  and  had  to  stroll 
downtown.  Got  to  office  late 
and  was  called  down.  Many  are 
called  down,  but  few  deserve  it.  ” 


“Cook  is  sore.  Says  she 
isn't  used  to  living  in  an  ice- 
house. I never  saw  such 
haughtiness.” 


“And  you  are  left  with  your 
tubes  filled  with  bronchitis  mi- 
crobes,and  your  heart  filled  with 
homicidal  tendencies.  Natural 
gas  low.  No  hot  breakfast.” 


“Shucked  corn  all  morning. 
In  afternoon  repaired  rail  fence 
on  the  east  eighty  till  dark.  Then 
took  some  nourishment  in  the 
shape  of  boiled  ham  and  cab- 
bage. ” 


“ Boss  says  that  it  must  n’t 
happen  again.  I hope  it 
won’t.  ” 


“Sat  around  awhile.  Hated 
to  tackle  the  cold  sheets,  but 
finally  it  got  so  late  that  I had  to 
turn  in,  though  I could  n't  get 
to  sleep  till  after  10.” 


“ This  city  life  ain’t  what  it  ’s 
cracked  up  to  be.  How  I envy 
the  farmer.  He  s his  own  boss 
and  does  n’t  care  how  often  the 
cable  breaks.  ” 


“ I Wish  I Lived  in  Town  Where  I Had  Some  of 
the  Comforts  of  Life.” 


“ I Wish  I Lived  Out  on  Some  Pleasant  Farm 
These  Fine,  Crisp  Winter  Days.” 


. 


IT  HAS  BEEN  SUGGESTED  THAT  SOCIETY  ADOPT  A TIME  LIMIT 

MARRIAGE  CONTRACT 


Chapter  I 

“ Will  you  be  mine , Felicia  f” 

“For  how  long,  Albert  ?” 

“For  fifteen  years , dearest .” 

“ No,  but  I will  for  ten  years.  ” 

“Cant  you  make  it  twelve  ?” 

"No;  ten  is  the  limit.” 

“All  right.  Here ’s  the  ring.  Take 
good  care  of  it  for  I may  need  it  again.” 


Chapter  II 

“ Do  you  promise  to  take  this  woman  for 
better  or  for  worse  for  ten  years  ? ” 

“ Yes,  subject,  of  course,  to  renewal  of 
contract.  ” 

“Do  you  promise  to  love,  honor  and 
obey?” 

“ Yes,  up  to  September  14,  1914.” 

“/  pronounce  you  man  and  wife.  Let 
no  man  put  asunder  in  the  meantime.  ” 


Chapter  III 

“Well,  Albert,  your  ten  years  are  up 
today.  Do  you  want  an  extension  of  the 
contract  ? ” 

“No,  thanks,  dearest.  I ’m  booked  for 
the  next  ten  years  with  Fanny  Bishop. 
Her  contract  with  Charley  Bishop  expires 
soon,  you  know.  ” 

“ Why,  of  course.  How  stupid  of  me  to 
forget.  In  that  case  I ’ll  accept  Arthur 
Bridgeport  for  five  years.  His  contract 
with  Adelaide  is  up  next  Friday  at  noon.  ” 


Chapter  IV 

“Whose  little  boy  are  you  ?” 

“ I ’mU ncle  Sam’s  little  boy.  ” 

“Where  are  your  parents,  my  lad  ?” 
“Papa 's  doing  ten  years  with  the  late 
Mrs  Bishop  and  mamma,  I understand, 
is  married  at  present  to  Mr.  Bridgeport. 
Her  contract  expires  some  time  next 
month,  though,  she  having  failed  to  get 
a renewal.  Mamma  ’s  getting  old,  you 
know.  ” 


“THE  HAGUE  TRIBUNAL” 


The  Czar  and  the  Mikado  go  to  War 


SOCIAL  HAPPENINGS  AT  BIRD  CENTER 


Since  the  war  in  the  Far  East  began,  there  has  been  more  or 
less  interest  evinced  by  our  townsmen  in  the  great  struggle. 
Consequently,  when  some  of  our  prominent  citizens  suggested 
that  a talk  be  given  by  Captain  Fry  on  the  subject,  everybody 
enthusiastically  seconded  the  proposition.  'Hie  gallant  captain, 
himself  a keen  student  of  military  strategy,  as  well  as  a hero  of 
Gettysburg,  Pennsylvania,  and  a thousand  other  equally  noted 
battles,  promised  to  give  the  talk  and,  in  fact,  did  give  it  at  the 
Opera  House  last  Friday  evening.  Mr.  Smiley  Green,  the 
popular  undertaker,  introduced  the  speaker  with  a few  timely 
and  well-chosen  remarks,  after  which  Captain  Fry  launched 
vigorously  into  his  subject. 

“First,  I want  to  explain  what  has  led  up  to  the  present  ag- 
gravated condition  of  affairs  in  the  Far  East.  For  many  years 
Russia  has  slowly  but  surely  been  expanding  to  the  eastward, 
until  she  is  now  in  possession  of  all  northern  Asia.  But  she  has 
no  outlook  to  the  sea  for  her  commerce,  except  the  ice-bound 
port  of  Vladivostok  way  up  yonder  [pointing  to  the  map].  She 
is  like  a great  wheat  field  full  of  grain  with  no  gate  to  get  the 
grain  out.  So  what  does  she  do  ? She  decides  to  get  a port 
farther  south.  When  Japan  licked  the  Chinese  in  ’94,  and 
captured  Port  Arthur  and  a good  part  of  Manchuria,  Russia 
gets  France  and  Germany  to  protest  against  Japan’s  retaining 
Port  Arthur.  They  protest  and  Japan  is  cheated  out  of  the 
spoils  of  war.  Then  Russia  quietly  leases  Port  Arthur  from  the 
Chinese  for  twenty-five  years  and  moves  in.  She  does  n’t  think 
England  will  stand  for  her  action,  but  England  had  a weak 
Prime  Minister,  and  no  protest  was  made.  Of  all  the  nations  of 
the  earth,  Russia  was  the  most  surprised  to  find  that  she  was  to 
be  allowed  to  keep  Port  Arthur.  So  she  proceeded  to  fortify  and 
prepared  to  stay  a good  deal  longer  than  her  lease  called  for. 
Japan  is  sore,  but  all  the  powers  were  against  her.  Russia  then 
decides  that  she  must  have  all  the  land  between  Port  Arthur  and 
Siberia,  so  she  proceeds  to  occupy  Manchuria.  When  anybody 
protested  she  said  she  was  going  to  get  out  day  after  to-morrow. 


but  she  did  n’t  calculate  to.  She  had  worked  a bluff  at  Port 
Arthur,  so  why  not  work  another  for  Manchuria  ? Japan  was 
foxy  and  saw  how  it  would  come  out  if  she  did  n’t  step  in  and 
register  a kick.  So  she  demands  that  Russia  move  out  and 
Russia  says  ‘Certainly,’  but  when  moving  day  came,  Russia 
could  n’t  find  the  moving  man.  Instead  of  that,  she  moved  a 
few  thousand  soldiers  in  and  hung  up  a sign,  ‘We  are  here  to 
stay.  ’ Then  Japan  began  to  oil  up  her  musket.  ‘If  Russia  is 
allowed  to  do  as  she  pleases  out  here,  she  will  soon  have  Japan 
in  the  corner  pocket,’  she  says,  ‘and  Japan  wants  at  least  a little 
room  to  roll  around  in.  We  don’t  propose  to  have  a big  man 
with  a gun  leaning  up  against  us  on  the  starboard  side,  so  here ’s 
where  we  get  busy.’  So  Japan  prepares  for  fight,  but  Russia 
does  n’t  think  she  is  in  earnest.  She  calls  Japan  a little  pigmy 
and  delays  rolling  up  her  sleeve.  At  that  moment  Japan  in- 
augurated what  Mr.  Gus  Figgey  .would  call  ‘Rough  House’  and 
lands  on  Russia  at  Port  Arthur  with  the  result  that  Russia  wakes 
up  to  find  her  solar  plexus  dislocated.  ” 

At  this  point  in  Captain  Fry’s  speech  there  were  loud  shouts  of 
approval,  in  the  midst  of  which  could  be  heard  the  voice  of  Gus 
Figgey  ringing  out  in  strident  tones,  “Hot  stuff,  Cap.” 

“And  now  what  is  a-goin’  to  happen  ?”  resumed  Captain  Fry. 
“ I will  tell  you.  Japan  is  a-goin’  to  land  a couple  regiments 
on  this  what  ’s-its-name  peninsula,  destroy  the  railway,  and  cut 
the  line  of  communication  to  Port  Arthur.  Then  she  can  plant 
her  siege  guns  on  the  hills  back  of  the  town  and  throw  in  a few 
hundred  ton  of  grape  and  canister  until  the  garrison  capitulates. 
Then  the  Japs  can  march  up  through  Manchoory,  capture  the 
Siberian  railway  and  in  six  weeks  capture  St.  Petersburg.  The 
Japs  already  have  Sayool  down  yender  in  Corea,  and  can  bom- 
bard the  Yayloo  River  when  they  ’re  a mind  to.” 

Many  of  the  audience  congratulated  Captain  Fry  on  his  ad- 
dress, and  assured  him  that  they  now  could  intelligently  follow 
the  news  from  the  war. 

— J.  Oscar  Fisher,  in  the  Bird  Center  Argosy. 


A BIRD  CENTER  VIEW  ON  THE  llUSSIAN-JAPANESE  WAR 


, 


THE  GEN.  BULLER  OF  THE  ORIENT 


A THRILLING  MESSAGE  FROM  TIIE  EAST 


The  Battle  and  the  War  Correspondent 


The  War  Correspondent  and  the  Story  of  the  Battle 


The  Press  Censor  and  the  Story  of  the  Battle 


The  Editor  and  the  Story  of  the  Battle 


THE  VLADIVOSTOK  SQUADRON 


No.  1. 

Wabash,  Ind.,  July  27 — (Special)  — Chris  Newbower 
and  Gus  Nelson,  two  prominent  citizens  of  this  city,  report 
having  sighted  the  Vladivostok  squadron  last  evening,  steaming 
slowly  down  the  Wabash  River.  Both  men  are  citizens  of  con- 
siderable veracity,  one  having  formerly  been  the  circulation 
manager  of  the  Wabash  Palladium  and  the  other  a prominent 
politician.  People  here  are  inclined  to  credit  the  report.  Mr. 
Newbower  states  positively  that  he  saw  three  large  ships  steam- 
ing so  near  that  he  could  distinctly  see  the  masts.  Mr.  Nelson 
saw  six  ships,  having  probably  looked  twice.  Intense  excite- 
ment prevails  here  as  there  is  a neutral  river  flatboat  nine  weeks 
overdue.  It  is  feared  the  Russian  ships  may  have  overtaken  it. 


No.  3. 

St.  Joseph,  Mich.,  July  27 — (Special)  — Mr.  H.  Close 
of  Chicago,  who  has  been  Sundaying  in  this  city,  reports  seeing 
the  Vladivostok  squadron  last  evening  three  miles  east  of  this 
city.  Mr.  Close  was  sitting  on  the  shore  thinking  about  the 
political  situation,  when  some  one  near  by  called  his  attention 
to  the  squadron.  He  says  that  he  saw  it  distinctly,  but  did  n’t 
notice  how  many  ships  there  were,  or  what  direction  they  were 
going.  Mr.  Close  states  that  he  is  going  down  again  to-night 
to  watch  for  the  squadron.  Intense  excitement  prevails. 
Little  knots  of  bridal  couples  may  be  seen  earnestly  dis- 
cussing the  senation. 


No.  5. 

Punta  Arenas,  Argentine  Republic,  July  27  — 
(Special)  — Izaak  Walton  Jones,  a citizen  of  this  city,  reports 
having  sighted  the  Vladivostok  squadron  three  miles  and  a 
quarter  off  Cape  Horn,  about  noon  to-day.  He  first  saw  the 
fleet  come  down  the  east  coast  of  South  America,  turn  abruptly 
around  the  Horn  and  disappear  rapidly  up  the  west  coast. 
There  were  three  large  ships  and  they  were  traveling  thirty 
knots  an  hour.  When  last  seen  they  were  turning  the  corner 
two  miles  north  of  Valparaiso.  Mr.  Jones  at  once  brought  the 
news  to  this  city,  and,  after  renewing  his  supplies,  will  return  to 
the  cape  where  he  is  fishing. 


No.  2. 

Henderson,  Ky.,  July  27  — (Special)  — Col.  Bunker  H. 
Breckenridge,  who  is  spending  the  summer  at  his  home  in  this 
city,  reports  having  seen  the  Vladivostok  squadron  lying  off  the 
Kentucky  shore  of  the  Ohio  yesterday  afternoon.  The  colonel 
does  n’t  remember  the  number  of  ships  but  says  the  number  cor- 
responded with  that  of  the  Russian  fleet.  The  report  can  be 
easily  verified,  says  the  colonel,  by  his  grandson  who  also  wit- 
nessed the  squadron.  Great  excitement  prevails  and  the  mat- 
ter is  the  topic  of  general  conversation.  The  sheriff  is  organiz- 
ing a posse  of  colonels  to  guard  the  city  in  case  local  shipping  is 
threatened. 


No.  4. 

Joilet,  III.,  July  27  — (Special)  — Mr.  Herbert  X.  Bug- 
liaus  of  this  city  came  running  into  the  city  early  this  morning 
crying  out  that  he  had  been  pursued  by  the  Vladivostok 
Squadron.  He  first  saw  it  near  the  rolling  mills  and  stopped 
for  some  minutes  to  count  the  ships.  He  counted  six  the  first 
time,  but  a recount  showed  nine.  A Russian  admiral  com- 
manded him  to  surrender,  but  Mr.  Bughaus  retreated  quickly 
followed  by  the  entire  squadron.  Fortunately  he  reached  the 
city  safely,  although  terribly  frightened.  In  an  interview  Mr. 
B.  stated  that  he  saw  the  ships  while  on  his  way  home  or  to 
work,  he  is  not  sure  which.  Great  excitement  prevails. 


No.  6. 

Dundee,  Scotland,  July  27  — (Special)  — Mr.  Jem 
Wethersby,  first  officer  of  the  Peruvian  bark  Calisaya,  arrived 
here  this  afternoon  with  the  report  that  he  found  evidences  of 
the  Vladivostok  squadron.  At  seven  bells  night  before  last, 
while  doing  his  trick  at  the  watch,  he  passed  a large  piece  of 
wreckage  which,  he  swears,  was  probably  part  of  a vessel  sunk 
by  the  what  ’s-its-name  squadron.  Mr.  Wethersby  has  had 
much  experience  in  swearing,  having  been  a mate  on  a tramp 
steamer  for  twelve  years.  Late  this  evening  we  endeavored 
to  get  a complete  story  from  Mr.  W.,  but  he  was  not  to  be 
found. 


THE  VLADIVOSTOK  SQUADRON 


No.  1. 


No.  2. 


\ 


ft  if 


A STUDY  IN  COMPARATIVE  WORRIES 


Cossack  Aide  — “7  regret  to  report  that  Port  Arthur  has  fallen 
The  Czar  — "Hush!  Don't  wake  the  baby!" 


ANOTHER  MYSTERIOUS  STRANGER 


AFTER  THE  BATTLE  OF  MUKDEN 


THESE  ARE  BUSY  DAYS  FOR  THE  BALTIC  FLEET 


SEEING  THINGS  AT  NIGIIT 


Margate,  England,  Oct.  24  — (Special)  — The  Eddystone  light-house  was  attacked  last  night  by  the  Baltic  fleet  and 
totally  annihilated.  It  is  thought  the  Russian  admired  mistook  it  for  a fleet  of  Japanese  airships. 


Dover,  England,  Oct.  24  — (Special)  — Late  last  night  a man  standing  on  the  English  coast  sou-sou  west  of  this  place  lighted 
a match  to  see  what  time  it  teas.  He  was  instantly  attacked  by  the  Baltic  fleet,  the  admiral  of  which  mistook  the  light  for  a Japanese 
signal.  Three  twelve-inch  shells  grazed  the  astonished  gentleman,  but  fortunately  none  struck  him.  An  ultimatum  is  probable. 


Cherbourg,  France,  Oct.  24  — (Special)  — Heavy  cannonading  was  heard  several  miles  off  this  coast  last  night.  A 
French  cruiser  at  once  put  out  to  the  scene  of  the  noise  and  found  the  Baltic  fleet  attacking  the  north  star.  It  is  thought 
the  vigilant  admiral  mistook  the  light  for  a fleet  of  Japanese  battleships.  An  ultimatum  is  expected  hourly. 


Finisterre,  France,  Oct.  25,  3:30  a.m. — (Special) — At  an  early  hour  this  morning  the  Baltic  fleet  was  seen  steaming 
swiftly  past  this  point.  Soon  afterwards  a furious  bombardment  occurred  and  continued  until  the  body  of  an  electric  eel  was  . ashed 
ashore  much  mangled  by  the  deadly  cannonading . It  is  thought  the  admiral  of  the  fleet  mistook  the  eel  for  a Japanese  submarine 
boat.  At  the  present  writing  the  fleet  is  bombarding  a drug  store  down  near  the  beach.  The  druggist  is  issuing  an  ultimatum. 


TIIE  THRILLING  STORY  OF  THE  CHINA  SEA 


Admiral  Rojestvensky  stood  musingly  on  his  flagship  — “One  load  more,”  he  muttered  sadly,  “ and  then  our  fleet 
will  be  coaled  and  I must  leave  this  pleasant  coast.  ” For  a moment  a tear  stood  in  his  eye  as  he  peered  off  toivard  the  French 
China  shore.  The  thought  of  leaving  the  dear  old  scenes,  to  which  he  had  become  so  greatly  attached,  made  even  the  stern  old 
sailor  weep.  Dashing  aside  the  tear,  he  turned  to  direct  the  busy  crew  who  were  bringing  the  coal  to  the  ships. 

“Come,  my  hearties,”  he  cried,  “ step  lively.  We  must  get  away.” 

With  these  few  ivords,  so  pregnant  of  meaning,  our  hero  turned  his  eyes  toivard  the  great  leviathans  of  the  deep.  Smoke  rolled 
in  mighty  volumes  from  their  funnels  and  went  whirling  off  in  the  howling  gale.  A thousand  cannon  strained  their  cyclopean 
eyes  to  the  northward;  10,000  Russian  tars  crouched  defiantly  at  the  breech  blocks. 

THESE  WERE  TIIE  MEN  BEHIND  TIIE  GUNS  ! 

For  a few  moments  the  Admiral  stood  there  in  deep  contemplation,  listening  to  the  shouting  seas  and 

THE  SCREAMING  OF  THE  WINDS.  THEN,  TURNING  SLOWLY,  HE  MADE  HIS  WAY  TO  THE  BRIDGE “Anything  ill  Sight?”  he 

inquired  of  a bystander. 

“Forty  ships  off  the  port  bow,  sir.  All  steamers,  sir,  but  I can't  make  out  their  colors.  ” 

“ II umph,  ” said  the  admiral,  in  Russian.  “ Fishing  boats,  probably,  ” and  dismissed  the  matter  from  his  thoughts. 

Again  he  turned  his  eyes  shoreward  and  another  tear  appeared  — “Ah,  ” he  mused,  “ / have  been  so  happy 
here.  If  my  weekly  paper  had  not  come  so  irregularly  of  late  I should  be  perfectly  happy  here.  Ileigh  ho,  I must  not  yield  to 
sentiment  in  this  manner.  ” 

A thought  then  struck  him  and  he  turned  to  give  an  order  to  a handsome  bystander  wearing  spurs  — 
“I  'll  pipe  all  hands  below  and  give  my  men  a night's  rest.  ” 

In  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  the  wireless  telegraph  was  sending  forth  the  glad  news , and  a moment  later  10,000  Russians  tars 
were  peacefully  sleeping  in  their  hammocks.  A great  silence  lay  over  the  mighty  battleships. 


TIIE  FRENCH  IDEA  OF  NEUTRALITY 


“We  must  surely  do  something  to 


preserve  our  neutrality." 


“ There  is  no  doubt  about  it. 


We  must  surely  do  something  to  preserve  neutrality. 


‘As  we  were  saying,  we  must  beyond  doubt  do  something  to  preserve  neutrality." 


“ Yes,  sir!  We  will  notify  the  Russians  that  they  must  leave  French  waters. " 


“I  BEG  TO  REPORT,  YOUR  MAJESTY,  THAT  THE  BALTIC  FLEET  HAS 

ARRIVED  AT  VLADIVOSTOK” 


TAKING  HIS  PLACE 


A GIRL  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


Her  First  Pair  of  Jumpers  — “ A m / a Utile  boy  noic,  mama  ? ” 


Her  First  Fishing  Trip  — “/  wonder  if  the  fish  know  1 am  here.  ’ 


A GIRL  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


A GIRL  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


A GIRL  IN  SUMMER-TIME 


Between  Two  Deadly  Perils 


THE  DA\  AFTER  RED  SUNDAY  IN  ST.  PETERSBURG 


TO  WIN  THE  CONFIDENCE 

vand  gratitude  of  my  & 

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NICHOLAS  the 


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BUT  HIS  SOUL  GOES  MARCHING  ON 


THE  IROQUOIS  FIRE 

[cartoon  PRINTED  JAN.  1, 1904] 


HIS  SUNDAY  DINNER 

[AFTER  THE  IROQUOIS  FIRE] 


MRS.  SCADSWORTH  GOES  AWAY  FOR  IIER  HEALTH 


The  Doctor — “ M hat  you  need,  Mrs.  Scadsworth,  is  lots  of  outdoor  exercise  — horseback  riding,  walking,  mountain  air.” 


Mrs.  Scadsworth  arrives  at  the  mountain  resort  and  takes  some  exercise  between  the  breakfast  room  and  the  card  room. 


Which  continues  without  interruption  during  her  stay  in  the  mountains. 


THE  LATEST  INNOVATION  IN  NEW  YORK 


“Well,  surely,  a man  need  not  be  lonely  with  an  institution  like  that  close  at  hand.” 


Professor  — “/  like  intellectual  ladies,  but  I ’m  afraid  she  ’ s too  intellectual  for  me.  1 'll  hire  No.  20.  ” 


The  Professor  and  his  guide.  No.  20,  see  the  sights. 


. 


THE  LATEST  FRENCH  DUEL:  OR,  HOW  AN  INSULT  TO  JOAN  OF  ARC 

WAS  AVENGED 


THE  FARMER  OF  FICTION  AND  REALITY 


The  1’opular  Novelist  — “ Now  I ’m  going  to  write  a great  novel  on  American  farm  life  and  I think  / ’ll  go  out  and  find 
the  real  type  — the  kind  with  chin  whiskers  who  says : ‘ B'  gosh , I ’ll  jest  sivan  to  Guiney.’” 


"Say,  Hub,  I m looking  for  a typical  farmer  like  this.  Do  you  know  of  any  farmers  around  here ? ” 

"My  Pa ’s  a farmer,  but  he ’s  gone  over  to  town  to  get  a new  tire  for  his  auto.  You  might  ask  Ma,  over  there.  She ’s  reading 
about  the  yacht  races." 


"Great  Scott ! is  this  the  farmer  of  to-day?  I haven't  heard  any  of  them  say  ‘ B’  gosh,  I ’ll  jest  swan  to  Guiney,’  and  none 
of  them  looks  like  the  jay  pictures.  ” 


“ Won’t  you  stay  for  supper  and  drive  over  to  the  Chautauqua  meeting  afterward  ?” 
"No,  thank  you  ; I 'm  going  back  to  town." 


WHAT  HAPPENED  TO  TIIE  CITY  FELLER  THAT  WENT  OUT  IN  THE 
CORN  BELT  AND  CRITICISED  TIIE  HOT  SPELL 


Farmers  (inspecting  corn  crop)  — “ W ell,  boys,  things  look  mighty  blue  for  a good  corn  crop  unless  we  get  some  good, 
sweltering  hot  weather  pretty  soon.  The  corn  looks  mighty  skimpy.  Just  look  at  them  ears  — they  ought  to  lop  crt'er  instead  of 
standin  straight  up.” 


“ Hooray ! That 's  the  stuff,  M r.  Sun.  You  can’t  make  it  too  hot  for  us.  Just  listen  to  the  corn  grow.  ” 


The  Sewing-Machine  Agent  — “ Morning,  gents.  II ain't  this  sun  fierce?  1 wish  it  would  blow  up  a frost  or  a good 
heavy  rain  and  cool  off  things  a bit.” 


. 


A MESSAGE  FROM  THE  FRONT,  OR,  RATHER,  WHERE  THEY  PUT  UP  A FRONT 


“My  Dear  Husband  — / arrived  here  last  evening,  and  (),  I 'in  having  the  loveliest  time.  It  is  perfectly  grand  here all  so 

quiet  and  restful,  too.  This  morning  I intended  to  take  a long  walk  before  breakfast,  but  the  maid  was  so  slow  in  hooking  me  up 
that  breakfast  was  all  over  when  I got  down. 


“ After  taking  a bite  or  two  I put  on  my  riding  habit,  but  by  taut  time  it  was  so  near  the  luncheon  hour  that  I decided  to  wait 
until  after  I had  eaten.  And  besides,  I found  that  I could  get  no  horse.  I wore  my  embroidered  grenadine  at  luncheon.  It 
was  really  the  prettiest  gown  on  the  veranda.  I in  just  having  a perfectly  lovely  time  here  ! 


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“We  idl  intended  to  walk  over  to  the  golf  links  after  luncheon,  but  when  I had  put  on  my  walking  suit  it  was  time  to  dress 
for  dinner.  So  we  walked  a little  way  and  then  returned. 


“ The  big  dining-room  was  perfectly  gorgeous.  It  was  all  lit  up,  and  so  were  all  the  women.  I wore  my  new  lace  net  robe 
trimmed  with  Russian  applique,  and  I really  was  very  easy  to  look  at,  although  the  men  all  strained  their  eyes.  1 his  has  hen  a 
heavenly  day,  and  I do  so  wish  you  were  here,  but,  poor  boy,  I suppose  you  must  stay  at  home  and  work.  1 can't  tell  yon  how 
much  I enjoy  inis  unconventional  life  after  my  long  winter  of  endless  dinners  and  receptions.  It  is  such  a relief  to  be  able 

to  do  as  one  pleases.  Please  have  Hester  send  me  the  new  gowns  as  soon  as  they  come  from  the  dressmaker's,  as  I posituely 
have  nothing  to  wear.  — Your  Devoted  Wife. 


ANOTHER  BOARD  OF  INQUIRY 


“ What  is  father  striking  for,  mother  ? Higher  wages  ?” 

“ N o,  dear.  The  wages  are  satisfactory.  ” 

“Is  he  striking  for  shorter  hours?” 

“/Vo,  dear.  The  hours  are  satisfactory.  It  's  a sympathetic  strike.” 
“Sympathy  for  us,  mother?” 

“No,  dear.” 


WHAT  IS  THE  MOST  INTENSE  HAPPINESS  THAT  A HUMAN  CAN  FEEL? 


Or  is  it  This  — “ There!  your  last  tooth  is  filled  and  you  wont  have  to  come  again  for  years." 


Or  is  it  This  — “ Hooray , Charley ! your  ticket  has  won  the  capital  prize  in  the  lottery  ! ” 


No,  it  is  this. 


WHAT  IS  ABSOLUTE  UNHAPPINESS? 


In  it  that  which  is  experienced,  by  the  poor  North  Pole  seeker  whose  ship  is  wrecked,  leaving  him  stranded  on  an  iceberg  with 
nothing  to  eat  but  candles,  and  nothing  to  drink  but  dew,  and  no  dew  at  that  ? 


Or  is  it  the  shipwrecked  manner  who  has  drifted  for  many  days  on  the  face  of  the  deep  with  no  place  to  land  but  on  the  shores 

of  an  island  inhabited  by  anti-vegetarians  ? 


Or  is  it  the  poor  Christian  who  is  on  the  eve  of  playing  an  important  part  in  a Turkish  massacre? 


No!  The  only  real  misery  is  that  felt  by  the  small  boy  who  has  to  go  to  school  this  fine  circus  weather. 


THE  ANNUAL  TRAGEDY 


GARB 


AS  HE  WOULD  HAVE  LOOKED  IN  MODERN 


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DECORATION  DAY 


THE  FOURTH  OF  JULY 


Nice  Old  Gentleman  — “ Well,  my  young  friend,  / suppose  you  know  what  this  glorious  holiday  means  ? 
Young  Gentleman,  Celebrating  — "Sure,  but  I don't  care.  My  pa  's  a doctor.  ” 


THE  FIFTH  OF  JULY  — CALLING  THE  ROLL 

Adapted  from  a famous  old  poem 


“Benjamin  Jones!”  the  father  cried; 

“Here!”  was  the  answer  loud  and  dear. 

From  the  lips  of  the  youngster  standing  near; 
And  “here!”  was  the  word  the  next  replied. 
“Johnnie  Jones!”  and  a silence  fell 

This  time  no  answer  followed  the  call; 

Only  his  brother  saw  him  fall. 

Killed  or  wounded,  he  could  not  tell. 

There  they  stood  in  the  morning  light 
On  July  the  fifth,  the  present  year. 

And  the  roll  was  read  in  accents  clear 
By  the  senior  Jones,  who  was  ghastly  white. 
“Charley  Jones!”  at  the  call  there  came 

Two  ambulance  men  and  some  doleful  groans 


As  they  bore  in  the  body  of  Charley  Jones, 
Greatly  disfigured,  to  answer  his  name. 

“Albert  Jones!”  and  a voice  said  “here!” 
“Chauncey  Jones!”  “He ’s  down  at  St.  Luke’s 
With  a couple  of  badly  damaged  ‘dukes,’ 
The  doctors  say  he  ’ll  be  well  next  year.  ” 
“William  Jones!”  — then  some  one  said: 

“A  small  toy  pistol  went  off  and  shot  him, 

And  the  ambulance  people  hurried  and  got  him 
To  make  some  repairs  on  his  injured  head.” 

’Twas  a gallant  day  but  it  cost  us  dear; 

For  that  family  roll  when  called  to-day, 

Of  a total  of  seven  that  entered  the  fray. 
Numbered  but  four  that  answered  “here!” 


Ills  THANKSGIVING  DINNER 


“ I s’ pose  they  ’re  just  sitting  down  to  dinner  now.” 


IMPORTANT  NEWS 


“ We  're  gunna  have  ice-cream  for  supper 


SUDDEN  INCREASE  IN  DEATH  RATE  SINCE  TIIE  BASE  BALL 

SEASON  OPENED 


“Me  brudder  said  to  give  ut  to  youse.” 

“Ah,  this  is  very  sad.  What  caused  your  poor 
grandmother's  untimely  end  ?” 

“Sir?” 

“What  did  she  die  of?” 

“ Don’t  it  say  in  de  letter  ?” 

“No,  Jimmy  has  not  mentioned  the  disease.  H ’as 
it  pneumonia?” 

“ Yes,  sir.  ” 


“ Was  she  sick  long  ?” 

“Sir?” 

“How  long  was  she  sick?  A couple  of  years? 
“ Yes,  sir.  ” 

“So  Jimmy  's  home  with  his  qrandmother  now  ? 
“No,  sir.” 

“ Where  is  he  ?” 

“ He  '.s'  waitin'  outside.  ’ 


ON  DECORATION  DAY 


“ You  bet  I 'm  gain  to  be  a soldier,  too,  like  my  Uncle  David,  when  l grow  up." 


THE  FIRST  DAY  OF  SCHOOL 


“ Gee  ! I wonder  how  soon  recess  is  ? ” 


TIIE  DAY  BEFORE  THANKSGIVING 


WE  ARE  NOW  APPROACHING  TIIE  TIME  WHEN  EVERY  HOME  IS  FILLED 
WITH  MYSTERIOUS  INTRIGUE  AND  CONSPIRACY 


Mamma  — “ Don't  come  in  here,  children  ! Run  old  and  play  like  a good  little  girl  and  boy.  ” 


Papa  — “ Don't  come  in  here!  Run  out  and  play,  kids.  Run  along  now." 


“CHRISTMAS  IS  COMING” 


PREPARING  FOR  CHRISTMAS  SHOPPING 


— — : 


A CHRISTMAS  INVITATION 


/ s pose  that  R.  S.V.  P.  means  “ Remember  to  Send  Valuable  Presents 


THREE  SUNDAYS  BEFORE  CHRISTMAS  TREES 


H e want  to  go  to  the  Sunday-school . 


Where  is  it  at  ?” 


THE  SILENT  PARTNER  OF  THE  FIRM  OF  SANTA  CLAUS  & CO. 


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ON  THE  GREAT  EVENTFUL  MORNING 


“ And  now  is  it  Christmas,  mamma  ? ” 

Yes,  dear,  this  is  Christmas  morning  at  last.” 

If  hij  it  looks  just  like  any  other  day.  I thought  it  was  gunna  he  bigger.  It  looks  bigger  on  the  calendar.” 


PRESIDENT  ROOSEVELT  HAS  BEEN  MADE  AN  HONORARY  COLONEL  OF 

A BRITISH  REGIMENT 


Extract  from  London  Times,  August  18,  1911  — In  the  war  maneuvres  yesterday.  Honorary  Colonel  Roosevelt, 
of  the  Brixton  Rough  Riders,  led  his  regiment  in  an  extraordinarily  fine  charge  up  Ludgate  Hill,  arriving  at  the  top  some  hours 
before  his  regiment.  The  king  witnessed  the  charge  from  a safe  position  on  the  obelisk.  There  was  quite  a panic  in  Lombard  Street, 
many  of  the  leading  financiers  hastily  retiring  to  Hyde  Park  upon  hearing  that  the  gallant  colonel  was  to  make  the  charge.  Some 
of  them  are  still  missing,  but  doubtless  will  soon  be  found.  One  hundred  and  sixty  women  fainted,  nineteen  horses  ran  away , and 
one  unfortunate  man  had  his  leg  broken  while  trying  to  climb  Trafalgar  Monument.  The  dome  of  St.  Paul's  will  be  repaired 
within  the  next  fortnight. 


SOCIAL  HAPPENINGS  IN  WASHINGTON,  D.  C 


The  President  Receives  a few  Delegations  of  Visitors  in  the  State  Dining-Room  at  the  White  House. 


' 


MISS  ROOSEVELT  ATTENDS  THE  HORSE  SHOW 


CAMPAIGN  POEMS  AND  PORTRAITS  BY  PROMINENT  POLITICIANS 


Mr.  Cleveland’s  Picture  of  Himself  and  Miss  Democracy. 


CAMPAIGN  PORTRAITS  AND  POEMS 


President  Roosevelt,  by  Vox  Populi 


THE  REPUBLICAN  DERBY 


On  the  Eve  of  the  Republican  Convention 


HUMORS  OF  TIIE  REPUBLICAN  CONVENTION 


The  editor  of  the  “Anaconda  Avalanche”  finds  that  they  have  not  made  provision  for  his  staff. 


'V 


AFTER  THE  REPUBLICAN  CONVENTION 


News  From  the  Firing  Line 


MR.  CLEVELAND  — “I  WON’T  RUN  ANOTHER  STEP” 


NOMINATING  TIIE  DEMOCRATIC  CANDIDATE  FOR  VICE-PRESIDENT 


“ Gentlemen  of  the  convention,  I rise  to  nominate  for  Vice-President  that  peerless  statesman,  that  grand  old  J effersonian  Demo- 
crat, that  wealthy  patriot,  Mr.  — Mr.  — ahem  — Mr. ” 


“ — that  wealthy  patriot,  Mr.  Davis,  whose  name  is  a household  word  in  Elkins,  West  Virginia. 

that  the  nomination  be  made  unanimous.” 


It  is  moved  and  seconded 


“He  is  therefore  nominated  and  the  convention  is  adjourned.” 


GROVER  — “I  WASN’T  VERY  HUNGRY  ANYHOW.” 


A SAD  CASE  OF  DESERTION 


Late  Wednesday  night  a dark  figure  u-as  seen  to  emerge  from  the  neighboring  gloom  and  deposit  a mysterious  bundle  in  the  middle 
of  a vast  and  lonely  prairie.  Plaintive  cries  were  heard  to  issue  from  the  bundle. 


Vvj»Us  ;;  li'-j'J. 


The  figure  then  stealthily  departed,  leaving  the  bundle  in  the  midst  of  the  prairie. 


No  important  clews  were  left  by  which  the  identity  of  the  dark  figure  could  be  traced.  A close  search  developed  several 
slight  clues,  which,  though  slight,  may  lead  to  detection.  A copy  of  the  Kansas  City  platform  was  found  nearby ; also  a copy 
of  “ The  Commoner  ” : also  a card  marked  “ W.  J.  B.  ” ; also  a well-thumbed  photograph  of  Grover  Cleveland  ; and  also  several 
bound  volumes  of  speeches,  entitled  “ Free  Silver  Speeches,  by  W.  J . Bryan.  ” The  child  that  was  deserted  had  its  name  artistically 
worked  on  a bib  and  was  very  u'eak  from  long  exposure. 


SOME  FORGED  CAMPAIGN  LETTERS 


*\  cfl 


mm  with 

THE 

WORKINGMAN 


wwive  HOUSE 

To  WASUtMCTOM 

Patrick  Me  Graw, 

President  Amalgamated  Order  of  Honest  Korkmcn. 

Sir!  — 

Your  letter  recol . ed  . Personally,  I consider  tne  request 
thet  you  make  should  more  appropriately  be  presented  to 
the  mayor  or  your  city#  At  the  same  time  I cannot  miss 
this  opportunity  to  say  a few  things  about  labor  organiza- 
tions In  general.  I think  organized  tabor  13  a serious 
menace  to  tne  welfare  oi  our  Institutions;  and  I further 
think  that  any  man  who  belongs  to  a Union  should  be  treated 
as  a criminal.  There  Is  no  good  In  Unions.  Every  man  who 
belongs  to  one  is  worse  than  an  archlst.  If  I am  elected 
my  first  oiflclal  act  shall  be  to  have  o.ery  man  who  be- 
longs to  a labor  union  expelled  from  the  country  or  de 
naturalized.  Furthermore,  I think  that  men  wno  work  for 
a living  have  no  license  to  live  anyway. 

Yours  respectniily. 


^ A0T  A?. 


HURRAH  FOR. 

WALL  street 


/ 


The  honest 
farmer 

is  A JAY. 


THE  LABORING 
CLASSES 

ARE  getting  Too 

MUCH  MONEY. 


952  RalPgl??"*  “organ, 

Ra»  York  City.'*  «®3S*a®i!3.p 

friend:— 

* "• — TjrGTTTrr  ’ ■ 


sen- 

0n  me  yester- 

reco‘-''«0  in  M.  naa9.  7'  "hlCh»  01  c°urse,  win  not 

- “•«-  ay  gratitude  wm  J ^ th“‘  If  I 

^ mends  stre  “ '^^bstantlal  form 

Prosperity  win  be  jM(hrai  „ r'6’er  fa~  «-t  tnelr 

1 W ..  ...  S.UJ  ’ *»  “*»•■«  ...  „ ..... 
•*  »• 

lng  Road,  will  al  , * Mr*  B«er, 

«so  join  u,  thepe< 

Tours  gratefully. 


oi  tbs  Raaa- 


G#or?o  K»  JEunlsoriy  «, 

Chairman  Hancock  County  Republican  Central  Com. 

I^regret’very  muoh  that  I cannot  manage  to  speak  before 

the  Panzers  Institute  next  Thursday  afternoon.  I have 

a luncheon  engagement  with  the  President  oi  tne  Michigan 

northern  Road  and  cannot  break  It.  Piease  express  my 

regrets  and  say  that  I hope  the  farmers,  who  are  the  bone 

and  sinew  or  this  great  nation,  rill  come  forward  and 

do  their  duty  on  election  day. 

Yours  respectniily,  c—  , 

J^oha^  tot**!** 

piA  — 


rn  OP  Tup 

tONiOLlDATED  co., 

COAL  MINI,*;  CO. 


Y 


®9ar  Son“ln-i,aw:_ 

1,01  th.t  x C1„  ^ tlr8d  wo™  out 

“***>3  more.  wy  h *"  ****  up  this  pace  , 

• '•“‘may.  * I fainted  ^ 

» J Z.z^  e 0'^,  rood  1 - eat  tzovar~exhaustion 

laborers  ,ho  apa  ’ ^ r0"«»  of  the  mire  ^ 

— * ** — c.  r-  th° 

^ — e-ed 

-lt*  r.-  - - - 

®nmans  ary  jp,  1 never  oouIa  . 

this  ract  b Irlsh  enyway.  „ e°ul<>  toierat. 

act  befor.  eiectlon  day  d°  "*  Mention 

^ours  affectionately, 

~ ■ — zT  ^c\AruLx_ 


MAYOR  HARRISON’S  CONFERENCE  WITH  JUDGE  PARKER  AT  HOTEL 

SEVILLE,  NEW  YORK 


Mayor  Harrison  to  Judge  Parker  — "Judge  Parker , 7 promise  you  the  electoral  vote  of  Illinois.  And  more  than  that 


“7  promise  you  the  electoral  vote  of  Wisconsin!  And  that  is  not  all 


I promise  you  the  electoral  vote  of  Indiana!  And  while  I ’m  at  it 


“7  might  as  well  promise  you  the  electoral  vole  of  Ohio,  Pennsylvania,  Iowa,  Michigan,  etc.” 


DESERTED;  OR,  TIIE  TRAGEDY  OF  TIIE  DESERT  ISLAND 


Mr.  Bryan  — “ vou  're  a bad  lot  and  you  're  all  in  cahoots  with  the  wicked  Wall  Streeters.” 


“ you  got  your  nomination  by  crooked  and  indefensible  means.  Your  platform  is  straddling  and  meaningless  BUT 


“/  think  I 'll  get  aboard  and  four  years  from  now  I can  organize  a relief  expedition  for  my  forsaken  comrade.” 


“HOMELESS” 


THE  MYSTERIOUS  STRANGER 


e£v/c//forS 


IIOORAY  ! FOUR  MORE  YEARS  OF  TEDDY 


THE  GRAND  INAUGURAL  PARADE  AS  SEEN  FROM  A DISTANCE  OF  900  MILES 


DROPPING  DOWN  TO  THE  FAIR  FOR  CHICAGO  DAY 


WHOM  ARE  THEY  EXPECTING? 


TIIE  PRESIDENT  VISITS  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


“ De-light-ed 


MISSOURI  SHOWS  THE  PRESIDENT 


On  the  Plaza.  St.  Louis — The  President : “ That  sign  reminds  me  of  the  way  the  people  in  New  York  voted  at  the  polls 

on  election  dai/.  ” 


THE  PRESIDENTIAL  HOLIDAY 


After  the  President  left  St.  Louis 


J / i . l /I 


A PICTORIAL  SERMONETTE 

The  Poor  Country  Boy  of  To-day  May  Be  the  Powerful  Magnate  of  Tomorrow,  So  Be 

Careful  Whom  You  Turn  Down. 


No,  young  man,  I can't  give  you  a position.  You  have  no  experience,  and  I won't  be  bothered  teaching  beginners.  Good-day , sir. 


" Well,  the  firm  is  going  to  put  me  in  charge  of  their  western  business  next  week.  That  's  pretty  good  for  my  first  five  years.  ’ 


.Twenty  Years  Later — "Hello!  I wonder  what  Hombeck  wants.  Perhaps  he's  returning  the  call  I paid  him  twenty-five  years  ago." 


Mr.  IIornbeck  — “Mr.  Worthy,  l 'm  in  hard  straits,  and  unless  you  help  me  I 'll  have  to  go  to  the  wall.  Just  put  yourself  in 
my  place  and  you  will  realize  how  much  your  assistance  will  be  appreciated  and  how  much  it  will  mean  to  me." 


' 


NOW  IS  THE  TIME  WHEN  THE  PROMINENT  CITIZEN  TELLS  THE 
COLLEGE  GRADUATE  HOW  TO  BE  SUCCESSFUL 


“ Remember , my  young  friends,  that  the  three  essentials  to  a successful  and  honorable  life  are  industry,  frugality  and 

unswerving  honesty 


The  Next  Day  — “ Send  this  schedule  of  my  personal  property  over  to  the  assessors  to-day,  then  telegraph  our 
Louisville  branch  to  undersell  that  new  competitor  until  we  bust  him,  and  then  have  my  automobile  at  the  club  at  three.  If 
anybody  calls,  tell  them  1 've  gone  out  to  the  races.” 


A PICTORIAL  SERMONETTE 

Illustrating  that  Ideals  are  Subject  to  Radical  Changes 


At  Fifteen  Years  of  Age  — “ No , Willie,  the  man  I shall  marry  must  be  tall  and  handsome,  with  beautiful  soft  eyes  and  a 

soulful  temperament ." 


At  Twenty  — “No,  Alfred,  the  man  I shall  marry  must  have  great  influence  and  a high  position  in  the  world." 


At  Thirty  — To  Mr.  Scadsworth,  President  of  the  bank:  “No,  the  man  I shall  marry  must  be  big  and  powerful  — a man 

born  to  command  — a man  of  imposing  appearance.  " 


At  Forty  — “Man  wanted,  — must  be  white." 


A PICTORIAL  SERMONETTE 

Illustrating  that  no  Matter  IIow  Much  You  Have,  You  Want  Something  that  Somebody  Else  Has 


Sam  Alexander  — “ liy  jing,  if  l was  fixed  as  well  as  Curt  Hawkins,  I d be  just  about  satisfied;  240  acres  of  good  land, 
all  tiled  and  unencumbered,  a hundred  head  of  cattle,  a likely  bunch  of  shoats,  money  in  the  bank,  to  say  nothing  of  as  nice  a 
wife  as  ever  put  on  a wedding-ring.” 


Colonel  Porter  — “7  wish  we  were  as  well  fixed  as  Lycurgus  Scadsworth.  There  he  goes  out  to  his  yacht  with  a bunch  of 
royalty,  and  they  don’t  know  we  ’re  on  earth.  Great  Scott ! I envy  that  man.  ” 


Lycurgus  Scadsworth  (as  Sam  Alexander  sprints  at  the  first  note  of  the  dinner  bell ) — “Ah,  that  ’ s the  life  l Simple,  whole- 
some and  natural!  1 ’d  give  my  tired  soul  and  everything  I have  for  an  appetite  like  that  man’s.” 


A PICTORIAL  SERMONETTE 

On  the  Pursuit  of  Wealth 


The  Man  Whose  Sole  Object  in  Life  is  Money  Making 


OUR  SUNDAY  PICTORIAL  SERMONETTE 

Showing  that  People  Don’t  Always  Mean  Exactly  What  They  Say 


“7  ’ve  taken  the  liberty  of  sending  Little  Rollo  over  for  some  beer.  When  l 'm  at  home  I always  like  a little 

beer  just  before  going  to  bed.” 


“ When  I ’m  at  home  I always  have  a few  friends  drop  in  occasionally  for  a friendly  game,  so  I thought 

I would  do  the  same  lure.” 


' 


THE  FARMER  BOY  THAT  DOESN’T  SUCCEED  IN  THE  CITY  AND  THE 

ONE  THAT  DOES 


1 — “I  hate  this  drudgery,  working  from,  daylight  to  dark. 
I 'in  going  to  Chicago  where  you  don't  have  to  work  so 
blamed  hard.  I want  to  see  a little  gaiety. ” 


2 — “Now,  this  is  better  — / can  see  something  of  life 
up  here." 


that  pays  well.” 


1 — “/  ’to  not  cut  out  for  farm-life.  I believe  if  I tried 
Chicago  and  buckled  down  to  hard  work  for  a few  years  I 'd 
make  a go  of  it.  ” 


2 — “I  have  to  work  about  as  hard  here  as  I did  on  the 
farm,  but  I am  determined  to  win  out  at  it.  ” 


Moral:  — “It  all  depends  on  the  boy.” 


, 


’ 


HOW  NOT  TO  GET  A GOOD  JOB 


“ Gee  I I vneh  I could  get  a good  jc b.” 


ALL  PLEASANT  JOBS  COME  ONLY  AFTER  YEARS  OF  HARD  WORK 


“ Here  am  l,  slaving  along  at  !jS15  a week , and  there  is  Baxter,  working  only  haij  as  hard  as  l do,  and  getting  ten  times  the 

salary  I get.  1 wish  I had  a snap  like  his.” 


How  Baxter  Got  His  Snap 


HAVE  YOU  EVER  NOTICED  THIS  PECULIAR  FACT  ABOUT  MURDER  CASES? 


But  at  the  trial  it  develops  that  the  murderer  dropped  his  handkerchief , also  two  cards  with  name  and  address  ; also  that  a 
man  going  for  a doctor  saw  and  recognized  him;  also  that  the  janitor  and  his  wife  saw  him  from  the  basement  window ; also 
that  a couple  on  the  steps  saw  him  distinctly ; also  that  a man  who  couldn't  sleep  looked  from  the  window  and  saw  him;  also 
that  a tramp  sleeping  on  a bench  awoke  and  saw  him  ; also  that  a belated  cab  driver  saw  him  plainly  ; and  also  that  the  driver  of 
a milk  wagon  saw  him  approaching  the  scene  of  the  crime. 


Tommy  Atkins  — “So  this  is  the  bloomink  sacred  city. 


My  word,  what  jolly  fine  icalls  for  pill  advertisements. ,y 


THE  TRACTION  QUESTION  IN  A NUTSHELL 


“I  've  made  a careful  study  of  the  Traction  Question,  and  if  you  hold  real  still  / ll  tell  you  the  answer.  If  you  think  il 
over  as  carefully  as  l have  you  'll  soon  know  just  as  much  as  l do.  / used  to  get  up  at  three  o clock  and  sit  in  the  cxirk 
thinking  it  out.  I did  n't  dare  light  a light  for  fear  Mr.  Yerkes  would  find  me  and  sell  me  some  stock.  Finally,  one  morning, 
about  half -past  four  I got  it  all  thought  out  except  where  the  stockholders  come  in,  and  just  then  Mr.  } erkes  and  Mrs.  Chadwick 
rode  in  on  two  white  giraffes  with  a trunk  full  of  stocks.  So  I ran  down  the  street  yelling,  and  some  one  suggested  a nice,  quiet 
upholstered  room  where  I would  be  safe.  So  I came  here  and  you  must  n't  tell  Mr.  } erkes  where  l am.  And  now  I ve  got  it 
all  thought  out.  You  first  have  to  multiply  Fort  Arthur  by  the  new  Chicago  Post  Office,  and  carry  two.  Then  you  subtract  and 
lei  stand  in  a cool  place  until  you  become  impatient,  and  that 's  the  answer. " 


THE  HORSE  SHOW  AT  LAKE  FOREST 


, 

. 


CHICAGO’S  PROPOSED  FASHIONABLE  PARADE  ON  MICHIGAN  AVENUE 


OUR  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  THE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


The  Scene  in  Lincoln  Park  when  “ Chief  Chicag  ” Arrived 


OUR  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  THE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


Lurid  Red  Fire  Reproduction  of  the  Great  Chicago  Fire  of  ’71 


OUR  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  THE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


The  Band  Concert  on  the  Lake  Front 


' 


OUR  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  THE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


UiiiiiiLlK 


The  Parade,  Visit  to  the  Stock  Yards,  Rowing  Contest,  etc. 


OUE  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  THE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


The  Indian  Encampment  in  Lincoln  Park 


OUR  WOODCUT  HISTORY  OF  TIIE  CHICAGO  CENTENNIAL  JUBILEE 


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The  Grand  Banquet  of  the  Visiting  Mayors  at  the  Auditorium 


SOME  HAPPY  LITTLE  VACATION  SUGGESTIONS  FOR  OUR  READERS 


Suggestion  I — Charter  a good,  seaworthy  steam-vacht, 
stock  it  well  with  seasonable  food  and  drink,  and  cruise  along 
the  New  England  coast.  Frequent  stops  may  be  made  at  the 
various  watering  places,  thus  pleasantly  breaking  the  voyage. 
After  having  exhausted  these  points  of  interest,  you  will  find  it 
enjoyable  to  continue  the  cruise  to  Sweden  and  Norway,  and,  if 
your  time  permits,  a still  further  cruise  among  the  beautiful 
fjords  of  New  Zealand  will  be  found  extremely  delightful.  The 
weather  is  now  perfect  in  New  Zealand,  and  if  you  have  a cam- 
era you  can  get  some  most  excellent  pictures.  For  a trip  such 


Suggestion  II  — Another  delightful  vacation  which  we 
earnestly  recommend  would  be  to  spend  your  two  weeks’  holiday 
in  Scotland.  Here  one  may  rent  a beautiful  estate,  abundantly 
stocked  with  game  — croquet,  golf,  bridge,  etc.,  — and  with 
plenty  of  good  riding-horses,  and  at  least  one  mail  coach  for 
coaching  parties,  the  hours  may  be  most  delightfully  beguiled. 
You  could  give  frequent  entertainments,  such  as  jolly  little  tours 
in  the  highlands,  etc.,  and  it  would  be  well  to  have  the  castle 
the  scene  of  many  congenial  house  parties.  Occasionally  you 


Suggestion  III  — Our  third  suggestion  would  be  to  make 
up  a jolly  little  party  and  spend  your  July  vacation  in  tour- 
ing Switzerland  and  the  Petroleum  Alps.  Excellent  motor- 
cars may  be  obtained  in  Paris  (No.  19  Arc  de  Triomphe) 
and  the  roads  from  the  gay  capital  to  the  Swiss  uplands 
will  be  found  most  excellent.  Luncheon  may  be  secured 
at  convenient  cabarets  along  the  way,  and  by  speaking  to 
the  chauffeur  stops  may  be  made  from  time  to  time  to  al- 
low you  to  make  photographs  of  choice  bits  in  the  land- 
scape. Arriving  in  Switzerland,  you  should  retire  early  in 
order  to  be  up  for  the  sunrise,  which,  in  those  latitudes  is 


as  this  one  should  secure  a steam-vacht  of  perhaps  2,500 
tons,  with  a crew  of  thirty  men.  A white  yacht  is  prefer- 
able, white  being  cooler  than  black.  If  you  do  not  mind 
the  additional  expense,  a cow  should  be  taken,  thus  insur- 
ing fresh  milk  during  the  voyage.  As  for  equipment,  you 
should  take  heavy  and  light  clothes,  a pair  of  deck  shoes, 
a mackintosh,  and  a pair  of  smoked  glasses  to  protect  your 
eyes  while  going  through  the  Suez  Canal.  The  cost  of  this 
outing  will  amply  repay  you  for  your  pleasure,  and  we  strong- 
ly recommend  it. 


should  give  lawn  fetes  to  which  the  peasants  and  tenants  from 
the  neighboring  countryside  may  be  invited. 

Such  an  estate  may  easily  be  secured  by  going  through  the 
necessary  preliminaries.  You  should  insist,  however,  that 
your  London  agents  secure  a castle  with  a porch  well  screened 
with  mosquito  bars.  The  cost  of  such  a place  would  be  either 
moderate  or  upwards. 

As  the  highlands  are  often  cool  during  the  evening  hours,  you 
should  take  a heavy  overcoat  and  at  least  one  suit  of  flannels. 


much  earlier  than  in  America  on  account  of  the  difference 
in  time. 

While  in  Switzerland  you  should  not  fail  to  visit  the  tomb  of 
W illiam  1 ell,  who  is  dead  at  present.  Here  a short  stop  may  be 
made  for  luncheon,  photographs,  etc.  In  this  little  side  trip 
you  will  have  delightful  weather,  according  to  recent  uncon- 
firmed rumors  from  Chefoo. 

Having  toured  Switzerland,  it  would  be  pleasant  to  have  a yacht 
meet  you  some  place  nearby  and  make  the  homeward  journey  in 
this  way  rather  than  by  the  Atlantic  liners.  There  are  so  many 
vulgar  tourists  on  the  regular  steamships  during  the  summer. 


SOME  HAPPY  LITTLE  VACATION  SUGGESTIONS  FOR  OUR  READERS 

To  Those  Who  are  in  Doubt  as  to  Where  They  Shall  Go  for  Their  Holiday,  We  Respectfully 

Submit  these  Happy'  Hints 


wfnm 


THE  PACE  THAT  KILLS 


SEEING  EUROPE  FROM  TWO  POINTS  OF  VIEW 


Uncle  Gid  — “ Well , by  Jimmy,  I reckon  the  Judge  and  the  Missus  are  having  a fine  time  out  there  in  Europe.  I see  an 
item  in  this  week's  ‘Transcript  ’ that  says  they  are  bein'  showered  with  attentions  by  them  Frenchies  and  are  right  in  the  swim, 
by  J iminy.  I knowed  the  Judge 'd  cut  a swath  over  there.  You  can  bet  ye  you  can't  lose  the  J udge,  by  J iminy.  ” 


The  Judge  and  his  wife  in  Europe. 


■ 


TWfl 


A RECENT  DISPATCH  SAYS  PUBLISHERS  ARE  EAGERLY  LOOKING  FOR 

THE  GREAT  AMERICAN  NOVEL 


The  Dispatch  is  said  to  Have  Excited  Much  Interest  in  Indiana 


MATCHES  ARE  ALSO  IN  GERMANY  MADE 


The  Wedding  of  Crown  Prince  Frederick  and  Duchess  Cecilia 


HOW  A FEW  YEARS  IN  WASHINGTON  MADE  THE  OLD  HOME  TOWN  SEEM 

DULL  TO  THE  RETURNED  CONGRESSMAN 


When  the  New  Congressman  and  his  Wife  First  Left  for  Washington,  the  Home  Town  Seemed  Quite 

a Bustling  Metropolis 


But  After  Several  \ ears  of  Distinguished  Service  Among  the  High  Hats  and  Stately  Buildings  of 

the  Nation’s  Capital  — 


The  Congressman  and  his  Wife  Returned  and  Found  that  the  Town  had  Shrunken,  and  even 

Saturday  Afternoon  Seemed  Dull  and  Listless 


SOCIAL  LIFE  IN  WASHINGTON,  D.  C. 


A Study  of  Official  Society,  Where  Each  Member  Fights  for  the  Privileges  of  His  Rank 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


FIRST  INSTALMENT 

IT  is  with  pleasure  that  ye  Editor  chronicles  the  announcement  that  a goodly  quota  of 
Bird  Center  society  leaders  purpose  taking  a European  tour  ere  long.  Among  those 
who  will  constitute  the  pilgrimage  are  Mrs.  Riley  Withersby,  our  beloved  leader  of 
local  society.  Reverend  Walpole  and  wife  and  children  under  nine  years  of  age,  Captain 
Roscoe  Fry  and  wife,  Mr.  J.  Milton  Brown  and  wife  (nee  Lucile  Ramona  Fry,  formerly 
daughter  of  Captain  Fry),  and  little  J.  Milton  Brown,  Jr.  Also  Mr.  Smiley  Greene,  the 
popular  undertaker,  and  wife  and  children,  Mr.  Riley  Peters  and  Miss  Myrtle  Brute,  of 
Muncie,  Indiana,  the  Misses  Flossye  and  Mae  Niebling,  Mr.  Ernest  Pratt,  Mr.  Elmer  Pratt, 
Mr.  Wilbur  Fry,  and  Mr.  Orville  Peters.  Quite  a goodly  party,  say  you  not? 

It  is  safe  to  say  without  exaggeration  that  the  local  social  circles  are  agog  with  pleasant 
anticipation.  At  first  it  was  understood  that  only  Mrs.  Withersby  contemplated  going 
abroad,  and  for  that  reason  she  gave  a small  function  last  evening  to  announce  the  fact,  but 
others  volunteered  to  accompany  her  and  the  party  grew  apace  quite  rapidly. 

Late  in  the  evening,  just  before  refreshments  were  served,  Mr.  Gus  Figgey  of  Chicago 
arrived  and  joined  the  group. 

“ I just  came  in  on  the  hundred-hour  limited  from  Decatur,”  he  announced  buoyantly, 
“and  thought  I ’d  drift  up  and  join  the  merrymakers.  What ’s  going  on  ?” 

Mrs.  Withersby  explained  that  some  of  the  party  were  talking  over  a trip  to  Europe. 

“ Count  me  in,”  said  Mr.  Figgey.  “ I have  n’t  had  a vacation  for  three  years  and  I ’m 
going  to  have  one  this  year  if  the  country  goes  plumb  to  smash.  What ’s  the  route  ? ” 

“ We  have  planned  to  go  to  Scotland  and  the  English  Lakes,  ” said  Mrs.  Withersby 
pleasantly. 

“ I can  figure  out  a better  trip  than  that,  ” said  Mr.  Figgey.  “ First  we  ’ll  go  to  London 
and  show  those  Britishers  a touch  of  high  life,  then  skip  over  to  Paris,  thence  to  Venice,  and 
circle  around  to  Rome.  Them ’s  the  four  great  show  places  of  Europe,  and  no  tour  is  com- 
plete without  ’em.  ” 

“ But,  Mr.  Figgey ” 

“ Now,  I ’ll  tell  what  we  ’ll  do,  ” said  the  genial  Mr.  Figgey.  “ I ’ll  get  some  inside 
rates  from  a friend  of  mine  in  the  importing  business,  and  I ’ll  guarantee  that  when  we  get 
through,  Europe  will  feel  that  she ’s  been  seen  good  and  proper.  ” 

“ Have  you  ever  been  abroad,  Mr.  Figgey?”  inquired  Mrs.  J.  Milton  Brown. 

“ No,  but  I ’ve  traveled  all  over  this  country,  making  all  the  important  towns,  and  what  I 
don’t  know  about  traveling  could  be  put  in  an  expurgated  French  novel.  ” 

“ I ’d  like  to  stop  at  Niagara  Falls,  Mr.  Figgey,”  said  Elmer  Pratt. 

“ Sure,  the  train  slows  down  there  and  we  can  see  the  Falls  just  as  well  as  if  you  spent  an 
hour.  ” 

“ And  won’t  it  be  beautiful  in  Venice,  ” said  Miss  Myrtle  Prute.  “ I ’ve  always  been 
crazy  to  see  Venice  by  moonlight.  ” 

“We  ’ll  see  it  by  moonlight,  candlelight  and  daylight.  Miss  Prute.  Orville  and  Wil- 
bur can  take  their  mandolins  and  we  ’ll  have  a tune  on  the  dancing  waters.  Hot  stuff,  eh  ? ” 
said  Mr.  Figgey,  slapping  Reverend  Walpole  on  the  back. 

’Fhe  party  adjourned  at  a late  hour,  Mr.  Figgey  promising  to  arrange  all  the  details, 
etc.  Various  members  of  the  party  will  tell  their  experiences  exclusively  in  the  Bird  Center 
Argosy. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  HOME 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


SECOND  INSTALMENT 

Niagara  Falls,  July 

(Special  Correspondence  of  the  Bird  Center  Argosy.) 

MIDST  gay  acclaim  did  the  Bird  Center  personally  conducted  tour  to  Europe  steam 
out  of  Bird  Center  yesterday  mom.  The  hells  cried  “ Off  to  Europe,”  and  the  rails 
clicked  the  same  news  as  the  great  steam  steed  started  on  the  long  journey  to  Niagara 
Falls.  Throngs  of  people  got  on  and  off  at  every  station,  and  many  admiring  glances  were 
cast  at  the  Bird  Center  tourists  who,  massed  together,  made  quite  a noticeable  effect.  Mr. 
Gus  Figgey,  who  says  he  is  the  chaperon  of  the  party,  has  made  the  welkin  ring  with 
laughter  and  gaiety.  At  the  first  stop  he  purchased  oranges  for  the  crowd,  anti  later  in  the 
day  entertained  them  with  personal  anecdotes  of  travel.  At  the  second  stop  Mr.  Figgey  ad- 
dressed the  town  from  the  rear  platform,  and  received  a rousing  round  of  cheers.  Last 
evening  he  entertained  ye  Editor  at  supper  in  the  dining-car.  It  has  been  a beautiful  trip. 

Niagara  Falls  was  reached  without  further  mishap.  These  Falls  are  situated  on  the 
Niagara  River,  between  the  Canadian  side  anil  the  United  States.  They  are  a hundred  and 
sixty-two  feet  in  height  and  are  considered  by  competent  critics  to  be  one  of  America’s  most 
famous  natural  beauties.  The  train  stopped  twenty  minutes  and  Mr.  Figgey  had  several 
fast  hacks  convey  the  party  to  the  various  points  of  interest.  By  way  of  getting  an 
expression  of  opinion  from  the  various  members  of  the  party,  the  Editor  secured  short 
statements  for  the  readers  of  the  Argosy. 

“Great  sight,”  said  Mr.  Figgey.  “Those  Falls  have  power  enough  to  run  all  the 
factories  in  the  U.  S.  A.  ” 

“A  notable  sight,”  said  Mrs.  Riley  Withersby. 

“More  impressive  than  Dante’s  ‘Inferno,’”  said  Mrs.  J.  Milton  Brown. 

“A  masterpiece  of  Nature,”  said  Reverend  Walpole. 

“Unequalled  in  history,”  said  Wilbur  Fry. 

“ Fine,  but  wait  till  you  see  Saint  Feter’s  in  Rome,”  said  Mr.  Ernest  Pratt,  who  was  in 
Europe  several  years  ago. 

“Too  bad  I can’t  get  a good  photo  of  it.  The  Falls  would  make  a beautiful  moving 
picture,”  said  Mr.  J.  Milton  Brown. 

“Truly  a sublime  spectacle,”  said  Mr.  Smiley  Greene,  the  popular  undertaker. 
“Gosh!”  said  Elmer  Pratt. 

It  was  with  mingled  feelings  of  sadness  that  ye  Editor  saw  the  gay  party  steam  east- 
ward, as  he  was  obliged  for  business  reasons  to  return  to  Bird  Center.  Other  communica- 
tions from  members  of  the  party  will  be  printed  from  time  to  time. 


J.  Oscar  Fisher. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  NIAGARA 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


THIRD  INSTALMENT 

THE  Editor  of  the  Bird  Center  Argosy  presents  the  following  letter  from  Mrs. 
J.  Milton  Brown,  who  is  en  route  abroad  in  the  personally  conducted  Bird 
Center  tour. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher,  Editor. 
By  Lucile  Ramona  Fry-Brown. 

At  Sea,  August 

*She  moves,  she  throbs,  she  seems  to  feel  the  thrill  of  life  upon  her  keel.”  At  last 
the  great  Levanthian  of  the  Deep  has  left  the  dock  amid  waving  ’kerchiefs  and  loud  huzzas. 
Like  great  mountain  ranges,  rising  tier  upon  tier,  the  vast  buildings  of  Gotham  looked 
down  upon  the  gallant  ship  as  she  turns  her  course  toward  the  vast  and  trackless  deep. 
Beautiful  somber  tints  stretch  from  horizon  upward,  blending  into  the  deep  blue  of  Heaven’s 
own  firmament.  Dainty  white  caps  assail  the  towering  walls  of  steel  that  are  to  be  our 
home  for  so  many  days.  Bartholdi’s  peerless  statue,  with  hand  uplifted,  seems  to  cast  its 
benedictions  on  us  as  we  start  for  those  distant  shores  to  the  eastward,  and  Nature  smiles 
fondly  upon  us  as  America’s  shores  sink  lower  and  lower,  back  in  the  direction  of  dear  Bird 
Center.  What  joy  it  is  to  breathe  this  ocean  air,  unsullied  by  smoke,  undefiled  by  foreign 
matter.  Eyes  are  flashing  with  renewed  invigoration,  hearts  are  light  as  the  giant  of  the 
sea  swings  into  the  easy  roll  of  the  long  Atlantic  billows.  Spindrift  whips  by  as  a great 
wave,  more  saucy  than  its  sisters,  assails  the  reeling  bow.  The  splendid  craft  trembles 
but  goes  onward,  ever  onward,  its  propellers  singing  their  endless  song  of  struggle.  Mr. 
Figgey,  immaculate  and  white-flanneled,  is  quite  the  dressiest  passenger  on  board,  and  is 
eonstant'y  the  cynosure  of  all  eyes.  See  how  he  swings  along  the  deck,  perfect  sailor 
that  he  is.  Now  the  rollers  batter  more  furiously,  as  Mr.  Figgey  approaches,  cigar  in 
mouth,  to  tell  us  to  get  busy  and  have  a good  time.  The  ship  rolls  and  wallows 


Editor’s  Note  — 

We  regret  that  only  part  of  this  story  was  mailed  to  the  Argosy  in  Captain  Fry’s  hand- 
writing. Evidently  the  remaining  leaves  miscarried  in  the  mails.  Better  luck  next  time. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher, 

Editor  Bird  Center  Argosy. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  SEA 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


FOURTH  INSTALMENT 

THE  Editor  is  pleased  to  present  to  the  readers  of  the  Bird  Center  Argosy  the  follow- 
ing travel-paper  from  Mr.  Gus  Figgey,  the  genial  Chicago  traveling  man  who  is 
being  accompanied  by  social  leaders  of  this  City  in  their  tour  abroad. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher,  Editor. 

London,  July  , 1842 

I have  dated  this  back  to  fit  the  occasion.  Of  all  the  slow  burgs,  this  is  the  slowest. 
Had  to  wait  three  minutes  for  an  elevator  at  the  hotel  and  ten  minutes  longer  to  reach  the 
sixth  floor.  I told  the  Britisher  at  the  desk  what  the  trouble  with  London  was,  but  he  did  n’t 
believe  me.  Merely  raised  his  eye-brows,  but  I ’ll  raise  something  else  if  things  don’t 
move  along  a little  faster  here  before  long.  Took  the  bunch  out  for  a ride  in  a herdic 
to-day.  Saw  the  Strand,  not  to  be  mentioned  in  the  same  year  with  State  Street  in  old 
Chicag.  Elmer  Pratt  said  he  reckoned  there  must  be  a show  in  town,  judging  by  the 
crowd  in  the  streets.  Took  ’em  to  see  the  Alhambra,  but  Reverend  Walpole  said  it  was  n’t 
a bit  like  what  he  thought  the  Alhambra  was  like,  judging  from  something  he  read  by 
Henry  Irving.  Have  had  a hard  time  keeping  the  folks  en  masse,  as  the  Frenchies  say. 
Mrs.  J.  Milton  wanted  to  go  to  a picture  gallery  to  see  the  Turners,  but  I told  her  I ’d  take 
her  around  to  the  Tivoli  and  show  her  some  turns  that  were  turns.  Reverend  Walpole 
wanted  to  go  to  the  Westminster  Abbey  and  Saint  Paul’s,  but  from  what  I heard  a man  on 
the  steamer  say,  they  are  old  buildings,  out  of  date  and  furnished  with  tombstones.  When 
I want  any  reading,  you  ’ll  have  to  pass  me  something  livelier  than  epitaphs.  Elmer  Pratt 
wanted  to  see  London  Bridge,  he  heard  it  was  falling  down.  If  there  was  a Lake  Front 
here,  Elmer  would  be  down  there  looking  at  the  explosion.  I took  the  party  down  to  see 
Trafalgar’s  monument,  and  pointed  it  out  to  them.  Have  lost  Riley  Peters  and  Myrtle 
Prute,  but  I suppose  they  'll  turn  up  at  supper  time.  We ’ve  been  here  two  days,  and  have 
done  the  town  thoroughly.  Leave  to-morrow  for  gay  Paris.  Can’t  hold  Smiley  Greene. 
Orville  Peters  and  Wilbur  Fry  are  anxious  to  get  to  Venus,  where  they  can  play  their  man- 
dolins on  the  raging  canal.  Ernest  Pratt  is  blase  on  the  trip,  having  been  over  here  before. 
Says  Europe  is  an  old  story  to  him.  Get  my  name  spelled  right,  Oscar.  Be  sure  to  get 
in  the  “e.  ” 


Gus  Figgey. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  LONDON 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


FIFTH  INSTALMENT 

THE  Editor  is  pleased  to  present  to  the  readers  of  the  Bird  Center  Argosy  the  follow- 
ing travel-paper  from  Mr.  Smiley  Greene,  our  popular  undertaker,  who  is  doing 
Europe  with  a party  of  travelers  from  this  city. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher,  Editor. 

Paris,  August. 

In  Paris,  France,  at  last!  France,  the  gay,  the  light-hearted;  France,  the  country  with 
a history!  Every  wall  has  its  tale  of  war  and  revolution  and  death.  Placards  reading 
“Defense  d’Affieher”  mark  where  notable  defenses,  back  in  some  dark  days  of  the  past, 
have  been  made  by  gallant  sons  of  Gaul.  Captain  Fry  says  Gaul  is  divided  into  three  parts, 
not  counting  Gus  Figgey.  Gus  says  some  one  ought  to  consolidate  them  into  a union. 
We  have  been  having  considerable  trouble  with  the  language,  as  they  all  speak  the  foreign 
tongue  here,  so  that  even  by  shouting  at  the  top  of  your  lungs,  you  can't  make  them  under- 
stand. Lucile  Ramona  Brown  tried  her  French  on  them,  but  they  did  n't  even  understand 
that.  She  seems  to  get  her  accents  on  the  wrong  words. 

Paris  never  was  more  beautiful,  even  although  we  understand  that  most  of  the  society 
people  have  gone  away  for  the  summer.  You  can’t  help  pitying  these  Europeans,  for 
they  can’t  go  abroad  for  the  summer,  being  already  there.  Went  out  to  visit  the  Morgue 
to-day.  Busiest  place  of  its  kind  I 've  ever  seen.  Visited  Napoleon’s  tomb  this  afternoon, 
and  consider  it  a most  imposing  place.  Air.  Figgey  tells  us  that  the  departed  is  a relative 
of  the  new  United  States  Secretary  of  the  Navy,  a fact  which  has  aroused  great  interest  in 
our  midst.  Yesterday  we  drove  out  to  witness  the  Arch  of  Triumph,  which  was  greatly 
enjoyed  by  all  save  Ernest  Pratt,  to  whom  Europe  is  an  old  story,  he  having  been  here 
before.  To-morrow  we  go  out  to  view  Pere  la  Chaise,  the  famous  cemetery  of  Paris.  It  is 
said  that  many  well-known  Frenchmen  and  French  women  sleep  their  last  sleep  out  there, 
so  we  have  cautioned  Gus  Figgey  to  put  on  the  soft  pedal  for  a short  spell.  Ernest  Pratt 
says  Abelard  and  Heloise  lie  there,  but  whether  they  are  two  people  or  a firm  I cannot 
state.  Visited  the  Louvre  yesterday  and  saw  the  Venus  of  Milo,  which  greatly  shocked 
Elmer  Pratt.  Gus  Figgey  says  her  arms  were  guillotined  during  the  French  Revolution,  but 
be  it  as  it  may,  she  certainly  is  shy  on  arms.  Orville  Peters  and  Wilbur  Fry  are  eager  to 
get  to  Venice  to  while  away  the  hours  with  dulcet  strains  from  their  mandolins,  but  Ernest 
Pratt  says,  “ Wait  till  we  see  Saint  Peter’s.  ” To-morrow  we  view  the  Catacombs  and 
the  Cemetery  of  Montmartre. 

Everybody  is  well  and  happy.  More  anon. 


Smiley  Greene. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  PARIS 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


SIXTH  INSTALMENT 

THE  Editor  is  pleased  to  present  to  the  readers  of  the  Bin!  Center  Argosy  the  follow- 
ing travel-paper  from  Mrs.  J.  Milton  Brown,  the  wife  of  J.  Milton  Brown,  the 
well-known  artist  of  the  Bird  Center  Tintype  Studios. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher,  Editor. 

Venice  The  Enchanting,  Aug. 

At  last  we  are  in  the  well-known  city  of  Venice,  Italy,  about  which  our  fancies  have 
from  time  immemorial  woven  the  most  bewitching  dreams.  It  is  hard  to  realize  that  we  are 
really  here.  We  instantly  exclaim,  “Can  it  really  be  true  that  we  are  in  Venice,  and  not 
merely  dreaming.  ” Mr.  Figgey  — he ’s  so  funny  — says  that  we  ’ll  not  think  we  ’re  dream- 
ing when  we  get  our  hotel  bill.  Mr.  Figgey  is  so  material  in  his  attitude  of  thought,  but  he 
has  been  a perfect  dear  in  arranging  things.  lie  does  n’t  let  us  rest  a moment,  and  even 
now,  when  we  have  been  here  only  two  days,  he  seems  to  know  all  the  gondoliers  and 
everybody  in  town  knows  him.  He  calls  all  the  gondoliers  “ Louey,  ” and  they  begin  to 
grin  broadly  whenever  he  comes  in  sight.  We  had  such  a good  joke  on  Elmer  Pratt  to-day. 
We  came  across  a little  church  near  the  hotel  and  Elmer  went  into  raptures  over  it.  It ’s 
whole  facade  was  one  bewildering  nightmare  of  scroll  work  and  curly  cues,  like  frosting  on 
a wedding  cake.  Elmer  said  that  he  considered  it  the  most  beautiful  thing  he  had  seen  in 
Europe,  and  at  once  looked  it  up  in  our  Baedeker.  The  description  says  that  it  is  the  most 
atrociously  ugly  building  in  Europe,  and  since  then  Elmer  has  not  admired  anything 
until  he  has  looked  in  the  guide  book  to  see  whether  it  is  beautiful. 

Last  night  we  engaged  some  gondolas  and  did  the  grand  canal.  The  moon  was  divine, 
and  the  whole  city  was  throbbing  with  music  and  sentiment.  Mr.  Figgey  directed  the 
excursion  and  after  a while  took  charge  of  the  oar  or  paddle  (I  don’t  know  what  the  real 
name  is)  and  gave  the  gondolier  some  lessons  in  the  work.  Smiley  Greene  sang  some  rol- 
licking hymns,  and  then  we  all  clamored  for  Orville  Peters  and  Wilbur  Fry  to  play  on  their 
mandolins.  They  had  carried  their  instruments  all  the  way  from  Bird  Center  and  had 
counted  the  seconds  to  the  present  moment.  But  scarcely  had  they  begun  to  play  before 
some  men  came  and  said  it  was  not  permitted  for  outsiders  to  play  on  the  canals.  Only 
those  belonging  to  the  Gondoliers’  Union  could  play.  Orville  and  Wilbur  were  broken- 
hearted. We  had  been  out  for  some  time  before  we  discovered  that  Riley  Peters  and 
Myrtle  Prute  were  missing,  but,  Mr.  Figgey  soon  located  them  in  a gondola  bv  themselves. 
Riley  seems  to  be  in  earnest  this  time,  but  now  could  any  one  help  being  in  earnest,  and  in 
love,  in  Venice.  Even  all  of  us  become  a little  bit  soft  here  — even  us  old  married  people. 
Flossye  Niebling  has  been  spending  all  her  time  writing  letters  home.  The  stationery  at  the 
hotels  is  so  attractive  and  she  does  n t want  to  miss  a chance  to  use  it. 

From  here  we  go  to  Rome.  We  are  all  well  and  beautifully  tanned. 

Lucile  Ramona  Brown. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  VENICE 


BIRD  CENTER  ABROAD 


SEVENTH  INSTALMENT 

THE  Editor  is  pleased  to  present  to  the  readers  of  the  Bird  Center  Argosy  the  follow- 
ing travel-paper  from  Mr.  Gus  Figgev,  the  genial  Chicago  traveling  gentleman, 
who  is  traveling  in  Europe  with  society  leaders  from  Bird  Center. 

J.  Oscar  Fisher,  Editor. 

Rome,  Aug. 

This  burg  is  n’t  half  bad.  In  some  of  the  new  parts  of  town  you ’d  think  you  were  in 
Chicago.  They  have  buildings  here  eight  and  ten  stories  high,  and  the  old  fogy  part  of  the 
city  is  fast  disappearing.  A good  hustling  Commissioner  of  Public  Works  could  soon 
make  Rome  look  as  up-to-date  as  any  of  our  American  cities.  Rome  is  only  about  a third 
as  big  as  Chicago,  although  it  was  started  long  before.  To-day  we  did  two  miles  of  picture 
galleries  and  saw  paintings  which,  if  put  together,  would  make  one  painting  a mile  square. 
I priced  some  of  them  but  did  n’t  buy.  Reverend  Walpole  has  been  right  in  his  element 
here  and  has  visited  about  ninety-seven  churches.  Smiley  Greene  has  spent  most  of  his 
time  in  the  Catacombs  and  J.  Milton  Brown  and  Lucile  have  reveled  in  art.  The  party  is 
all  split  up.  They  refused  to  go  out  to  the  Race  Track  with  me,  and  I have  had  a hard  time 
entertaining  them.  Yesterday  we  all  went  in  a bunch  to  see  St.  Peter’s.  Say,  there ’s  a 
building  for  you.  Ernest  Pratt  says  it ’s  the  greatest  building  in  the  world,  and  he ’s  been 
in  Europe  before.  I guess  he  saw  it  when  it  was  new;  for  now  it  is  showing  signs  of  age. 
When  I got  the  crowd  in  front  of  the  church,  I had  ’em  stand  all  in  a rowr  while  I went  on 
in  front  to  give  ’em  an  idea  of  howr  big  the  building  really  is.  You  can’t  realize  its  size 
until  you  compare  it  wdth  a man  standing  at  the  door.  They  w'ere  much  surprised  to  see 
how  small  I looked. 

To-morrowr  we  sail  from  Naples  for  New  York,  and  before  many  days  you  will  see 
us  drifting  into  Bird  Center,  all  sound  and  well.  Riley  Peters  and  Myrtle  Prute  are  en- 
gaged. Venice  and  the  moon  did  it.  Riley ’s  hot  stuff,  all  right. 


Mr.  G us  Figgey. 


BIRD  CENTER  AT  ROME 


NEW  YORK  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


KENTUCKY  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


FOR.  THE  THIRST  THAT  MAD6 
ST  UjoiS  FAMOUS  TRf  TMS 
UJUISIANHEUSE  A.  aiWO'ES 

Thirst  cure 


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fob.  action 


HEHR.Y 

CLEARED 


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INDIANA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


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MICHIGAN  AT  TIIE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


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ILLINOIS  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


IT 


WISCONSIN  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


COLORADO  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


UTAH  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


TEXAS  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


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OHIO  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


//f  ^cKBOt/ 


. 


. 


MISSISSIPPI  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


NEW  JERSEY  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


KANSAS  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


SOUTH  DAKOTA  AT  TIIE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


ex-wives  please1 
deposit  obseletx 
Rin&s  mere 


CALIFORNIA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


McGjfc//£cv. 


ALASKA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


MASSACHUSETTS  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


ItHCCijfqeM 


IOWA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


NEVADA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


■ 


PENNSYLVANIA  AT  THE  ST.  LOUIS  FAIR 


I — CAN  GOV.  YATES  GET  BACK  IN  TIME  TO  HEAD  OFF  TIIE 

DENEEN  BOOM? 


Being  the  Adventures  of  our  Governor,  Who,  While  Traveling  in  Foreign  Lands  heard  of  the  Remarkable 
Growth  of  Deneen’s  Boom  for  Governor.  He  Resolved  at  Once  to  Fly  to  the  Rescue,  and,  With 
His  Gallant  Staff  of  Colonels,  He  Boldly  Set  Forth  on  the  Long  and  Perilous  Ride 


In  the  midst  of  pleasant  sightseeing  in  Europe  a cablegram  arrives. 


It  contains  the  alarming  news  of  the  growth  of  the  Deneen  boom  for  governor. 


Whereupon  the  governor  and  his  gallant  staff  of  colonels  begin  a thrilling  ride,  compared  to  which  the  ride  of  General  Sheridan 

resembled  a franc  and  a half. 


At  frequent  intervals  the  governor  cheered  his  escort  onward  by  words  of  hope  and  encouragement. 


II  — GOV.  YATES’  WILD  DASH  FROM  EUROPE  TO  HEAD  OFF  THE 

DEENEN  BOOM 


For  many  days  the  way  was  easy,  and  no  mishaps  attended  them  until  they  arrived  at  the  foothills  of  a last  mountain 
range.  An  unfortunate  mishap  then  occurred.  One  of  the  colonels  was  overcome  and  hud  to  be  borne  along  on  the  hack  of  his  steed 
thereby  greatly  lessening  the  speed  of  the  gallant  little  band.  Despite  this  untoward  accident,  the  governor  led  bravely 
onward,  ever  crying  out : “ Courage , my  comrades ! Courage!  We  shall  soon  be  there  ! " 


Thus  inspired  they  began  the  ascent.  A vast  solitude  surrounded  them!  No  sign  of  life  met  their  eye,  save  where  some 
distant  mountain  goat  disported  himself  on  the  dizzy  peaks,  or  where  some  adventurous  eagle  clung  high  in  the  Alpine  crags. 
The  hardships  of  traveling  now  became  extreme,  prolusions  gave  out  and  for  many  weeks  the  little  cavalcade  were  obliged 
to  subsist  upon  eagles  and  mountain  goats,  which,  owing  to  the  peculiar  formation  of  the  country  were  difficult  to  catch,  and 
more  difficult  to  shoot,  as  the  colonels  were  unaccustomed  to  the  use  of  firearms.  When  they  reached  an  altitude  of  19,000 
feet,  another  colonel  was  overcome  and  had  to  be  carried  along  with  his  stricken  comrade,  for  the  governor  resolved  not  to 
abandon  his  devoted  follower  in  the  mountain  fastness  as  a prey  to  the  savage  goats. 


Upon  the  nineteenth  day  of  the  ascent  the  last  colonel  gave  out,  and  the  governor  carefully  placed  him  upon  the  horse  parallel  with, 
the  two  other  exhausted  colonels.  A few  days  after  this  fresh  misfortune  the  little  band  reached  the  summit,  42,000  feet  above  the  sea 
level.  A magnificent  view  of  the  surrounding  continent  was  obtained,  and  largely  repaid  for  the  hardships  of  the  ascent.  Behind 
lay  the  peaks  that  they  had  crossed,  many  of  them  rising  to  a height  of  30,000  feet  or  more.  Down  at  their  feet  lay  the  broad,  con- 
vex bosom  of  the  Atlantic  Ocean.  A happy  thought  struck  the  governor.  “/  remind  myself  of  Balboa  discovering  the  Pacific , ” 
he  said  with  a smile,  but  if  his  followers  heard  this  merry  quip  they  gave  no  heed.  Then  the  governor's  face  became  grave  as 
another  thought  struck  him.  “ There  is  no  disguising  the  fact  that  I have  a long  swim  ahead  of  me,"  he  said  resolutely. 


. 


Ill  — GOV.  YATES’  WILD  DASH  FROM  EUROPE  TO  HEAD  OFF  THE 

DENEEN  BOOM 


The  governor  rested  a moment  after  reaching  the  summit  of  the  vast  mountain  peak,  and  then,  drawing  a deep  breath  he  put 
spurs  to  his  horse  and  shot  down  the  steep  declivity,  pursued  by  the  savage  mountain  goats.  The  three  colonels  were  still  in  an 
exhausted  state,  and  their  weight  greatly  retarded  the  speed  of  the  gallant  steed,  yet,  strange  as  it  may  seem,  the  descent  was 
made  in  an  incredibly  short  time.  In  ten  minutes  the  little  cavalcade  rode  safely  out  on  the  shelving  beach,  and  the  governor 
urged  his  horse  boldly  into  the  Atlantic  Ocean.  “Now,  for  a long  swim,'’  said  he. 


Fortunately,  the  weather  was  fine.  The  sun  shone  warmly  and  the  sea  teas  calm.  Under  these  favoring  conditions  it  was  only 
a few  days  until  the  headlands  of  the  Azores  were  sighted  off  the  port  beam.  Hunger  and  fatigue  racked  the  governor,  but  he 
did  not  stop.  He  shouted  “ Courage , my  noble  steed.  The  way  is  long,  but  we  shall  soon  be  there."  One  of  the  colonels  teas 
revived  by  the  cool  water,  and  from  his  position  amidships  passed  the  days  pleasantly  in  watching  the  wonderful  dwellers  of 
the  deep  as  they  darted  hither  and  thither  alongside.  On  the  thirty-fourth  day  the  governor  sighted  a low  group  of  is- 
lands off  to  the  s'idh'ard.  He  sniffed  a moment.  “ The  Bermudas,"  he  said.  And  he  was  right.  They  were  the  Bermudas 
where  the  onions  come  from.  From  this  point  he  shaped  his  course  nor'  by  nor' west,  intending  to  land  on  American  shores  about 
four  miles  west  of  Oyster  Bay.  But  he  was  thrown  out  of  his  course  by  adverse  currents  and  strong  head  winds,  and  had  to 
make  his  landing  six  miles  east  of  Oyster  Bay.  Still  he  was  not  discouraged. 


“ Home  again!”  shouted  the  governor  in  joyous  exultation,  and  again  putting  spurs  to  his  gallant  steed  he  galloped  across 
the  Alleghanies,  cleared  the  Ohio  at  a bound  and  soon  saw  the  towering  dome  of  his  beloved  state-house  in  the  distance.  Large 
throngs  of  office-holders  heralded  his  coming  with  glad  shouts.  Ten  minutes  later  he  was  deep  in  a consultation  regarding  his 
chances  of  heading  off  the  Deneen  boom. 


THE  DEATH  OF  POPE  LEO 


9Lto  XIII 


Born  1810 


Died  1908 


